Here are 18 little things that mean a lot for children and that are absolutely free
They say the best things in life are free.
Starting at nursery or preschool is a huge change for the whole family. Your child will have to adapt to an entirely new environment, in which he has to cope without his parents and far more independently. He will have to get used to new rules and develop relationships with the other children. You know as well as I do that children don’t grow up and become independent overnight. Moreover, we parents aren’t much more prepared for this sudden change than our children are... But there are a few things we can do to make this big transition a little easier.
In this post, we answer the three most common questions parents ask about settling into nursery or preschool and then give you a few key tips that will help get you off to a flying start:
How soon will my child settle?
Let’s tackle the hardest question first. No matter how much time they have spent at the playground, some children absolutely love being with other children their age while some find it a big shock. Each child is also used to a slightly different approach at home and has his own unique personality. So some children have to learn to be more respectful of others, while some will find they need to be more assertive.
These days, many nurseries offer a phased introduction – starting with just an hour or two per day and gradually increasing the time spent at nursery – indeed, some insist on it. Some nurseries may allow a parent to stay with their child for the first couple of days. Don’t be afraid of talking to the staff – they will always be happy to learn more about you and your child. If any problems arise at nursery, tell them how you would approach that situation at home. Read the information you get from the nursery and ask about what their plans are each week, so that you can talk to your child about it and prepare him for what is likely to happen at nursery.
Should I say goodbye or just slip away?
“Just pop her down and go, she’ll survive!” It’s possible that you’ll hear plenty of this kind of advice, but don’t let it sway you. Things will go as smoothly as they possibly can if your child feels secure. She doesn’t know yet what nursery really is, and she can’t grasp what it will mean to be there without you for a few hours. Talk to her, describe what will happen, and reassure her that you love her. Plenty of things might be obvious to us adults – like the fact that we won’t leave our children at nursery forever – but our little ones need to be reassured of these. They need to know that we still love them, that we think spending time at nursery is fun, and that we are looking forward to picking them up. Make sure you explain exactly when you are going to leave (“I’ll help you take off your shoes and we’ll hang up your coat, then I will give you a big cuddle and Miss Lucy will hold your hand and I'll wave to you as you go into the yellow room.”) and when you will be back (“When you finish eating your lunch, I’ll be waiting at the door.”), and do your very best to make it all happen as you promised – after all, you don’t want to lose your children’s trust. Don’t be surprised if your child cries, and do comfort her, but don’t stay too long.
Why is he suddenly so different at home?
Big changes bring about a whole range of emotions, and children – adults too, sometimes – find these hard to manage. Some children may respond by refusing to go to nursery. Others may appear to be coping really well, but they are actually pretty stressed out. It could be that your child used to be placid and happy and is now crying whenever anything doesn’t go his way, wetting himself, complaining of headaches or tummy aches, throwing toys, biting… So often, we parents try to fix those behaviours without addressing their root cause. Whatever the behaviour, it is a good idea to help your child process his emotions. Don’t downplay his problems; instead, help him to manage them. And never tell him to stop crying – we all know that tears can help us to heal.
Children will only relax fully when they feel safe. That’s why the nursery teacher might tell you that little Alice was wonderful all day, but then you find yourself gnashing your teeth as she throws one tantrum after another at home. It is very hard, but if you realise that it is actually a privilege that she is expressing herself to you (yes, really!), it is easier to accept it and work on helping your child process those emotions.
Seven magic tips
Seven is often a lucky number in fairy tales. So here are our seven magic tips for coping with the fact that your little baby is already starting nursery/preschool:
Good luck!