8 mistakes that you may make in parenting

Nobody’s perfect, and everyone makes mistakes: either at work or at home. Parenting is not an exception, of course. It is natural that every parent wishes they were flawless and the best one out there, but we are all aware that this is impossible. Raising a child is not just a beautiful concept, but also a difficult task and it’s impossible not to make mistakes sometimes.‍

So here’s a list of the most common mistakes, which you may unknowingly make.

#1 You want to protect your child too much

We can’t blame parents for wanting the best for their children and attempting to protect them from all the threats in life. However remember, you should give a child their own space. If you decide everything for them, it may result in your child not being independent - and in later life they may find that they are unable to decide things for themselves. 

#2 You don’t give them enough attention

A very common problem of today's children is that they are defiant and constantly trying to attract attention. Parents often make the mistake of chastising kids for this, instead of looking for the root cause of such behaviour. If a child often behaves badly or is sulky, in most cases it shows that they do not get enough attention from their parents. This happens, for example, when both parents are constantly busy with work. 

#3 A child gets everything they wish for

Kids love presents and parents love giving them. Unsurprisingly, however,  this study shows that if you give a child everything they wish for, it weakens not only their self-discipline but also the other mental skills that it is necessary for a well rounded adult to develop, in areas such as mental strength and balance. Ideally, your child must be taught from an early age that everyone can achieve what they desire, but they must truly work hard at things to deserve them. 

#4 You expect them to be perfect and constantly compare them to others

Just as every child wants the best parents, so every parent wants the best child. Parenthood can sometimes turn into a desire for perfection, but we all know very well that this does not exist. As a result, some parents may begin to compare their child with others, which often has more serious consequences than we might expect. A single “harmless” remark can lead to an undermining of the child's self-confidence, which they will often carry with them for a very long time. 

#5 Too much prohibition

They say we can indeed have too much of a good thing. And just as too much freedom can harm your children, so too can the enforcement of too many strict rules or prohibitions. While the occasional dangerous activity ban may have its place, and every parent wants to protect their child from possible injuries, take a minute to look back on your childhood: each of us has a lot of bruises or broken legs behind us, and their occurrence is often linked to events which today we only laugh at. 

#6 You threaten your child with unrealistic punishments

It is indeed unlikely that you will truly follow through with the threat that ‘unless your child stops making a scene in a store, you will leave them there and go home.’ Or ‘if they don’t turn off the computer, you will throw it out of the window.’ - and children quickly learn that while the threat may be there, the punishment rarely seems to follow in the end. We would of course struggle to find a parent who had never threatened their child with any unrealistic punishment, but anyway, do try to avoid this mistake. By doing so, you inadvertently teach your child that you don’t actually do the things that you threaten them with - often leading to a loss of respect for your punishments. 

#7 You make them talk to people they are afraid of

Most likely, at one time or another, your child has felt very uncomfortable in the presence of an adult. If, as a parent, you know that this is not your child’s normal behaviour, do not force them to talk to that person. Your Tango portal also considers pushing kids to interact in such situations to be deeply inadvisable. Children have a well-developed sense of intuition and often perceive things that we adults overlook. So if you see they are literally attempting to avoid someone's presence, don’t blame them for it. 

#8 You don’t spend enough time with them

Sharing a household with someone and spending enough quality time with someone are two different things. Therefore, every parent should regularly think about how they spend their free time with their children. Activities such as a family walk in nature, playing board games or reading fairy tales together are great ideas for ways to enjoy your time together. The fairy tales you can find in Readmio, our interactive app.